Love Your Spouse Again
- One to feel and appear beautiful instantly, its as simple as a smile.
Many people find themselves fighting with their partners night after night. They almost wish they could run away and just find a better life somewhere else. The more they fight the more they struggle to find positive feelings about one another. Often, one partner becomes discouraged and experiences feelings of hopelessness regarding the survival of marriage.
1You must want your relationship to work.
2Reflect back on the things that made you fall in love with your spouse in the first place. If either of you have changed and those things are no longer there, then look for qualities in your spouse that you are still attracted to. Often, one or both spouses become complacent in their actions and obligations to both the marriage and spouse. Many people wrongly believe that after the wedding no more effort is required. Ex: "My spouse already knows how I feel - I married her didn't I?" A successful marriage requires just as much attention, kindness, effort and thoughtfulness from each spouse as it did during the dating process.
3Be honest with your spouse. Let him or her know what you are feeling and thinking. It may be painful for your spouse to know that the flame is dying but it is better that they know and can lend support. Mature consideration from both partners can help you work through the difficult feelings and formulate an action plan you both can agree on.
4Communicate, communicate, communicate. Do not accuse. Do not threaten. Do not nit pick. Those are wedges that will drive the strongest relationship apart. Set aside an agreed upon time for discussions. Be willing to initiate conversation. This is not the time to behave passively. Not sharing the responsibility for marriage maintenance only exacerbates the feelings of the partner who is already struggling.
5If you find yourself having feelings for another person, you owe it to yourself, your spouse, and the other person to understand why you have those feelings. It is okay if you are truly unhappy in your marriage, many people are. But if you merely see some qualities in the other person that your spouse lacks, but you still love your spouse, try telling your spouse what you would like them to do or to be like.
6Try to change your spouse, and encourage him or her modify their behavior. However, you must be willing to be patient and to modify your own as well.
7When alone, think about your spouse. Remember the way it was and realize that (in many cases) it still is but time has dulled the emotion.
8Finally, ask yourself this question and answer it truthfully, "Do I love my spouse?" If the answer is yes, then do whatever it takes to make it work.
9Be true to your feelings and your spouse because if you tell them you're in love but your actions don't show it then your spouse will think you're playing with their mind just to get her/his attention. This behavior is dishonest, creates mistrust and uncertainty and will surely send your spouse packing. Remember why you loved her/him and what she did for you to make you fall in love with her in the first place.
- Don't do anything behind their backs.
- Your partner should be your sounding board not the punished person for your problems.
- When you need to wind down after work, take a breather in a quiet place and reflect on your day, then and only then begin to share the rest of your day with your partner.
- Meditation is always relaxing.
- Always tell the truth, but know when white lies are appropriate.
- Lavender oil on your pillow will always reduce stress.